clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Why will 2018 be different? Untethered Optimism

New, 23 comments

You ready for a headache? Me too.

If you buy something from an SB Nation link, Vox Media may earn a commission. See our ethics statement.

Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images

TWO WORDS:

GAME. DAY.

MIND. RITE.

F.O.

MIND. RITE.

WHITE. GOLD.

MIND. RITE.

FLEX. BONE.

MIND. RITE.

CUT. BLOCK.

MIND. RITE.

BUD. WEISER.

MIND. RITE.


IM NOT HERE TO BLOW SMOKE IN AND AROUND YOUR RESPECTIVE TUCCUS’. IM HERE TO PREACH. SO SIT DOWN, PUT ON WHATEVER BLUE LIGHT TINT GLASSES YOU GOT SUCKERED INTO BUYING OFF THE INTERNET AND INJECT THIS VERY MILD MANNERED YELLING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR JAWLINE. [YES HONEY I WEAR THE GLASSES ALL THE TIME, YA I THINK THEY DO WORK. THEY SMUDGE LIKE HELL, BUT IF YOU JUST KEEP THEM CLEAN THEYRE FINE. *SLAMS GLASSES BACK INTO DESK*.]

THIS SEASON WONT BE LIKE ANYTHING YOUVE EVER SEEN. BECAUSE NOT ONLY WILL BOTH MINE AND YOURS GEORGIA TECH GOLDEN TORNADO TAKE THE FIELD COME RAIN SLEET SNOW HELL OR HIGH WATER, BUT THEYLL DO IT IN STYYYYYLE.

HOWARD DEAN SCREAM

ACTUALLY FORGET STYLE. STYLE NEVER WON THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP IN 2010. I WANNA TALK ABOUT POWER BROTHER.


“IF MONEY IS POWER, I GOT MILLIONS OF POWER.”- RICK ROSS


WELL SAID PATRICK. THAT BEING HIS CHRISTIAN NAME. SHOUTOUT TO ALL THE PEARS.

DID Y’ALL KNOW WERE GETTING A BUILDING OVERHAUL IN THE FUTURE? THATS REAL POWER. DO WE NEED/CAN WE FIT $600 MILLION WORTH OF POWER IN OUR QUAINT CAMPUS. STEVE?

THANK YOU UNCLE STEVE

BUT WHAT WE ARE GONNA DO, THANKS TO OUR TODDFATHER, IS BRING OURSELVES AT LEAST UP TO PAR WITH OUR COMPATRIOTS THAT ARENT AS GOOD AT FOOTBALL AS US. IM NOT GOING LINK THE VIDEO. FIGURE IT OUT.

OTHER SOURCES OF POWER? OH, I DONT KNOW. THE STABLE OF B-BACKS ON THIS [FOREIGNER] FOOSBALL TEAM.

POWER PILLAR A: KIRVONTE “KINGPEN” BENSON. HE DOESNT FALL OVER. WATCH HIM GO.

(checks somewhat truthful depth chart released this week)

POWER PILLAR B: JORDAN “DON’T CALL ME MICHAEL” MASON. THINK WE WONT HAND THE BALL TO THE BACKUP, BOY HOWDY GIVE THIS MAN A CREASE AND IRON THE [STYX] OUT OF IT ALL THE WAY TO THE 52.5x10 BOX WE CALL THE [GINUWINE] PROMISED LAND.

POWER PILLAR C: JERRY “JEFFERSON STEELFLEX““HOWARD. NEED WE FORGET WHAT IM NOT FACT CHECKING AND SAYING WAS HIS FIRST COLLEGIATE CARRY.

NOW IF THATS NOT ENOUGH POWER FOR YOU, CONSIDER THE LOBSTER. JUST KIDDING.


YOU SHOULDNT NEED FURTHER CONVINCING OF THE POWER POSSESSED BY MA TECH. MORATORIUM ON USING THE EXPRESSION MA TECH. I DISLIKE IT. BACK TO WHAT I WAS SAYING.

THERES NO REASON TO NOT HAVE THE MOST UNTETHERED OF OPTIMISTIC VIEWS ABOUT THIS COLLECTIVE OF FINE YOUNG BOYS. THEYVE GOT SCHEMA (DIAGRAMS AND ALL. SHOUTOUT MONICA SWEAT). THEYVE GOT PIZZAZZ. THEY GOT MORAL FIBER (COUGH COUGH $EC). MOXIE. GUMPTION. GRIT. WOODY. BUZZ. THE WHOLE [DIRE STRAITS] GANG IS HERE.


YOU LOOK AT THE SCHEDULE NEXT, THERES JUST NOTHING THAT IM WORRIED ABOUT. okay maybe Venables and his voracious Visigoths. MIND RITE.


HEY YOU THERE AT HOME/WORK/SCHOOL SITTING THERE ON YOUR REAR NOT ALREADY TAILGATING:

I CAN COUNT ON PARKER BRAUN’S RIGHT HAND THE NUMBER OF REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD MISS A TECH WIN THIS SEASON. FIGURE OUT HOW TO BE THERE. WEAR THESE SLICK NEW CLOTHINGS THAT YOU CAN BUY FOR LIKE 248 DOLL HAIRS.


I AM SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING PEOPLE WHINING ABOUT PEOPLE BEING NEGATIVE WHEN TALKING ABOUT THE WHIRLING DERVISHES OF GOD’S COUNTRY, ATLANTA, GEORGIA. IF YOU EVER START TO DOUBT, IF YOUR HEART FALTERS IN FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT, REMEMBER MY WORDS HERE TODAY. I’M LIKE THE STATUE OF HARVEY DENT THAT COMMISSIONER GORDON PUTS UP AT THE END OF THE DARK KNIGHT. EXCEPT I DIDN’T FLIP A RIGGED 1922 LIBERTY HEAD SILVER DOLLAR AND KILL JACKOS IN THE NAME OF FIGHTING THE MOB.


THERE’S NOT A CHANCE IN 2 HELLS THAT THIS TEAM DOES NOT MAKE US PROUD IN SOME FASHION. WHILE THE TEAMS OF THE PAST SOMETIMES FELL SHORT OF WHAT WE WERE LONGING FOR IN PLACES THAT WE DIDN’T TALK ABOUT AT PARTIES, THIS TEAM IS DIFFERENT. THEY’LL BE TIM MCGRAW IN 20 YEARS ASKING US IF WE CAN TOUCH STUFF.

SO GET DOWN, SHUT UP. DRINK FROM THAT SECRET CUP THAT GRANDMA DRINKS FROM THAT YOU ARENT OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE YET, AND BREATHE IN THE AIR. ITS FOOTBALL TIME. AND GOD SAVED THE QUEEN. MIND RITE.


Sorry, I definitely had an article stored somewhere that had some poetic waxing on about the ring of the metal bleachers, the taste of the morning’s first beer, and the sound of whistle after whistle echoing over Midtown. But I guess in the end, sometimes things just sort of end.

M?M?BP is 3-4 days away from your eyeballs. Tell your friends.