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Mailbag 4/7

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Why do Peeps exist?

US-HOLIDAYS-EASTER Photo by EVA HAMBACH/AFP via Getty Images

Any sports psychologists here? Can you explain how a good third baseman, with several highlight reel defensive gems to his credit, goes from 3 season errors to 10 over a three game weekend? It was truly painful to watch. How can a coach resolve such a situation? Sit out? Extra practice? Counseling? - Bill Brockman

Ben: I’m no sports psychologist, but this sounds like a bad case of the yips. I’d say give him some time to get his head on straight.

Jake: I wouldn’t say I’m the best person to ask. Before lots of swimming races, I would be almost sick to my stomach, and through water polo games I would have plenty of nervous ticks. Maybe he just had a bad day? It’s that time of the semester, after all. I can’t imagine it’s easier this time of the year being a student athlete.

Should there be such a thing as a reverse season ticket? - BuzzForPresident

Ben: I mean, you could buy season tickets and not show up and see what they do. I don’t think it’ll get you very far though.

Jake: What is this? They pay you to not show up?

Carter: No, but some enterprising young athletic department is going to start selling “virtual” season tickets if that hasn’t been done already.

How many ACC students does it take to change a lightbulb? - jabsterjacket

Ben: I don’t know that I’m #witty enough to come up with one for every team, but for Florida State, it would take at least two, because someone has to hold onto the crab legs.

Jake: I’m not sure, but I’m sure seven teams at the ACC Inventure Prize won’t be able to figure it out, regardless.

Carter: I read the full comment, and I don’t have a school by school response, but I did chuckle at the joke when my dad sent it to me back in 2007.

In Pastner’s post season press conference he had mentioned that if Jordan Meka was healthy he would have played an important role on the team. Given our potentially questionable front court depth next season this is encouraging! Does Usher returning improve the chances of Alvarado and Wright coming back or will their decisions be independent from Usher’s decision? - nononsense92

Ben: I would say they are probably in the same boat of waiting to hear back about their pro prospects.

Jake: I would assume they’re at least somewhat independent. Moses (and Jose) seem to have better pro prospects than Usher, but I mean, he basically called them out in his return tweet. I don’t think he’d do that if there wasn’t at least some prospect of them joining him.

Hello Friends,

Hope all is well. What is the worst Easter based candy, and why is it Peeps?

That’s not my question... I just really hate Peeps. I’m cool with pretty much everything else that happens on zombie Jesus day, just cannot stand Peeps. Actual question... I dunno, where do we stand on the GT baseball season right now? I feel like we’ve done alright, but not living in the Atlanta area its hard to keep track of GT baseball coverage.

Also how many problems would be solved in the Harry Potter universe if the main characters were from Texas and they all had guns? I feel like it would simplify things a lot. Although I guess dementors might still be a problem, but we don’t know because no one tried shooting them. Maybe bullets are really effective against those guys. My mind is all over the place this week, stupid pollen. Have a nice rest of the week.

Hank “Two Gun” Weasley (submitted via email)

Ben: Peeps are bad, but do you know what’s worse? Peeps-flavored Pepsi. You know what’s even worse than that? The fact they don’t call Peeps-flavored Pepsi Peepsi. If you’re going to create a monstrosity like that, go all the way. Another Easter hot take: Reese’s eggs aren’t that great because there is too much peanut butter filling. It’s just too much. Also an Easter fun fact: Jesus wasn’t the only zombie mentioned in the Bible. Many people know about Lazarus, whom Jesus raised from the dead, but there’s another passage of interest too that takes place closer to when Jesus died:

50 And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.

51 At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks split 52 and the tombs broke open. The bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. 53 They came out of the tombs after Jesus’ resurrection and[e] went into the holy city and appeared to many people.

— Matthew 27: 50-54

Man, things were wild! Also guns are just a less efficient way of doing the killing curse.

Jake: I think watching GT Baseball just makes me mad, of late, and so my solution has been to fight off the schoolwork swamping my metaphorical boat with a metaphorical thimble. Which was much different than my undergrad approach of “there’s sports going on, I’m just going to go to that, instead.” I would add, though, that you should age your Peeps like fine wine (stole that one from my girlfriend’s family) and they’ll be better, and that I think I’d be more likely to watch Ridiculous Texas Harry Potter than normal Harry Potter.

“Sports Illustrated” named Muhammad Ali the Greatest Athlete of the 20th Century. Who from our current 1/5th of the 21st Century should be on the list in, like, 79 years? - DressHerInWhiteAndGold

Ben: A name to keep an eye on is Shohei Ohtani. While there are some great athletes out there, it’s a rare sight to see a baseball player that is such a potent pitcher and hitter. I don’t know that he’ll ever be the greatest athlete of the century, but he’s definitely an interesting one.

Jake: Michael Phelps, Usain Bolt, LeBron James (as much as I hate to say it), Alex Ovechkin, Tom Brady (as much as I hate to say that, too), and Mike Trout are my top of the list. One each from the big four American sports leagues and two highly accomplished Olympians. Perhaps I’m biased towards America (and maybe team sports, too), but I think this encapsulates the sure-fire best player in baseball, basketball, hockey, and football thus far in the century, and any list that talks about greatest athlete is a sham if they don’t include the man who is certainly the greatest swimmer to ever live.