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Mailbag 3/24

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What’s your favorite riddle?

2019 New York Comic Con Portraits

If you aren’t aware, there is a service called Cameo where you can pay B-list/C-list celebrities to send personalized three-to-five minute messages. Whether you think this is a money grab or not, there are a lot of former college athletes from various schools on there…though not many from Tech (though I did find Harrison Butker and Calvin Johnson, if you are willing to pay $200). Disregarding the theoretical cost to get said person, what Tech athlete (past or present) would you want to give you a personalized message? Would you go legendary with John Heisman? A snarky response from Paul Johnson? Motivational from Derrick Moore? Memorable from future NFL Hall-of-Famer Calvin Johnson or all-time points leader Harrison Butker? - NCYellowJacket

Ben: This sounds like Fiver but to get famous people to do stuff for you, so that sounds pretty neat! Honestly, I would probably get all of the automated CPJ responses we have in our staff Slack channel.

Jake: First off, I had heard of it a while back, but it’s really funny that this comes up this week of all weeks, since Len Kasper (former Chicago Cubs TV guy turned White Sox radio guy) called some White Sox fan the “director of morale” on Cameo last week, which kind of imploded my Twitter timeline for a whole day or two, as Chicago baseball Twitter is very notably lead by a guy who self-styled himself the Director of Morale years ago. Like, he’s the first Google result. It’s a thing. I love the DOM. Anyways, to actually answer the question, the top for me would probably be Jose Alvarado (recency bias) because the man just says everything from the heart and it would feel earnest (I love CPJ, but that man would not be a good Cameo buy). If not Alvarado and we are going for some historic flair, probably Bobby Jones. Seems like if you’re going for a GOAT, he’s very quietly and humbly the most famous athlete we’ve ever produced, and a really sharp guy.

What are the chances that our MBB seniors return for next season? Obviously that would be good for us, but is it the right move for them? How would it affect younger players (e.g. Devoe)? - HelluvaBuzz

Ben: I would certainly like to have them come back, but I have no clue how likely it is.

Jake: Hearing smoke on a couple, but I have absolutely no confirmation or insight other than the standard Twitter sphere stuff, so I’m not too sure.

Robert: Gut response, not intel: Usher 80%, Wright 75%, Alvarado 25%, Parham 10%

How’s everyone’s Bracket? Train wreck? Backed up sewer pipe? - DressHerInWhiteAndGold

Ben: Bracket? Wait, is March Madness going on? I thought everything was over after that silly exhibition Tech had with Loyola. But...among the staff brackets (we have a separate challenge you all will learn more about later), I am not currently winning, but I do have the highest MAX score left.

Jake: For the first time ever, I’m leading a bracket challenge after two rounds. Looking at you, Ramblin’ Reck Club. As for my Tech-winning and Illinois-winning brackets in other groups? Not so well.

Carter: I haven’t checked it since Friday afternoon and am assuming everything is fine.

Robert: This year has the highest seed average ever for the Final Four. Has anyone avoided the bracket fire?

When heart sad will pain go away? If I love GT why GT no love me back. It make me sad. - Notwima13

Ben: everything bad.

Jake: I give Tech so much time and effort and press, especially in the non-rev and history worlds, which is not where it usually gets press, and see very limited acknowledgement of payoff. C’est la vie, Mr. NotWima13.

Loyola vs. Illinois - Did any of you watch the game? I only read the summary. My takeaway was that the physically superior offensive firepower of Illinois struggled with a scrappy, smart, defensive Loyola. That sounds a lot like GT-FSU from the ACCCG. In a fun (or macabre?) game of hypotheticals, how do you think we would have matched up against Illinois? - GTBuzzed

Jake: I thought it was a lot of pain to watch, as a fan (however casually) of Illinois and Loyola (and the Missouri Valley, though my “stop underrating the Valley” take has really been biting me in the [Aerosmith] these days) and one of Tech, knowing that we probably would have matched up well here with Moses. I would have worried about Cockburn’s size and physicality, but there is nothing and no one like Jose Alvarado anywhere else in the country, so I think he probably would have given the Illinois offense (and defense) more fits even than Loyola did.

Also, is L-IL beating ILL the equivalent of GAST beating uGA? - GTBuzzed

Ben: I’m gonna say no. Loyola is a good team.

Jake: In one word: no.

The Sun Belt is a bunch of mid-to-low major nonsense. Loyola is a top ten team on KenPom and has been ranked in the polls all year. The Missouri Valley is the most successful non-power conference in the tournament of all time, and continues to be (along with the WCC and A-10) at the very top end of the mid-major pyramid, despite continually being raided by bigger conferences. This has been a league that has been a four bid league in relatively recent memory (out of ten teams) and it is a shame Creighton and Wichita State had to break up the longstanding band.

How great is 2021 gonna be? FREE KRISPY KREME GLAZED EVERY DAY IF YOU SHOW YOUR VACCINATION CARD. Old dudes rule, but you young’uns gonna get’yer chance. Sorry I can’t drive to my old study hall on Ponce to get one…. - DressHerInWhiteAndGold

Ben: I really don’t understand why some people are whining so much about this. Like, yeah, diabetes exist and that’s it’s own issue, but Krispy Kreme is just doing something to encourage people to go get vaccinated. Do you really think someone is just going to go to Krispy Kreme every single day to get a free donut? That’s stupid.

Jake: Tech is hooking me up on Friday, so looking forward to life after that. Seems like things are trending in a good direction. Time for the roaring 20s?

Carter: What are you talking about? The Krispy Kreme on Ponce is fine.... it’s totally fine.... nothing wrong at all.... *sobs quietly*

Am I crazy to think this, or could the combination of Michael DeVoe, Kyle Sturdivant, Tristan Maxwell, Miles Kelly, and Deebo Coleman give us one of the most talented backcourts in the ACC? And what’s it gonna take for us to get the talent in the frontcourt to rival what Pastner’s had to work with so far with the likes of Moses Wright, James Banks, Abdoulaye Gueye, and (of course) Ben Lammers? - Anuj Bhyravabhotla

Jake: I don’t think you’re crazy at all. Also, sir, one of those four in the front court is not like the others, lol. A.D. Gueye is no Lammers, Banks, or Wright. I think it’s time to hit the transfer market if Wright isn’t coming back, which is not yet a sure thing.

Hello All,

Well my bracket is busted, along with pretty much everyone else’s apparently. Who woulda thought that Oral Roberts would be such a powerhouse? Were they really founded by the televangelist? Crazy stuff. So many teams out there on a mission from God this year.

Question time. Favorite time of the week. Riddle me this, what is your favorite riddle? you can give an answer or not (The answer is probably time or an echo. those are usually the answers).

My favorite is “What building has the most stories?”

Answer: The world may never know

You should be able to highlight the above to get the answer (Ed. Note: I couldn’t figure out how to throw a spoiler thing over it, so you all don’t get an answer. Sorry!). Have a fun week y’all!

Sincerely,

Scam Likely (submitted via email)

Ben: I don’t know that I have a single favorite riddle, but I tend to like the ones that are more logic based I guess.

Jake: As a swimmer, I always liked the “what gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?” one. I think you all are bright folks, you can probably guess the answer. As for the “mission from God” quote, I love the Blues Brothers, it is a wonderful movie, and my unsolicited opinion is everyone reading this column that hasn’t seen it yet should go watch it.

Carter: I don’t have an answer, I just want to say Scam Likely is also the name of a beer made my one of my favorite breweries out in Denver.