Last week I tried to do a deep analytical dive behind each bowl team to see what they looked like facing up against each other. While this did give me some good insight into the stories of the teams throughout the season, it did nothing for my picks. Now that we are getting into the holidays, I am going back to my tried and true method of picking teams based on their mascots.
3:30 PM, Thursday 12/23 on ESPN (all times eastern standard time)
Frisco Football Classic Presented by Ryan: Toyota Stadium Frisco, Texas
North Texas Mean Green v Miami Ohio Redhawks (-3)
Logan: First off, props to Ryan for getting the sponsorship. Unfortunately I found out that Ryan was not some random guy who scrounged up the money to sponsor a bowl, it is actually a tax service. So... now I’m much less excited about this game. Hopefully Ryan’s mascot is some random guy named Ryan that works for them.
This is a game between two different colored birds. The Green Eagle for North Texas and the Red Hawk for North Texas. I think eagles tend to be bigger than hawks, and also we know for a fact that the eagle is mean. We don’t know the emotional status of the hawk, if it comes into this game with the wrong mindset it could get torn apart. That combined with some homefield advantage means the Eagle will take this one.
Logan’s Pick: North Texas
7 PM, Thursday 12/23 on ESPN
Union Home Mortgage Gasparilla Bowl: Raymond James Stadium Tampa Bay, Florida
University Central Florida Golden Knights v University Florida Gators (-6.5)
You would think a guy in armor has no problem taking down an alligator. Problem is gold is not the right material to make armor out of. Gold is a pretty soft metal, it seems weird but a gator can probably tear through that pretty easily. Also this is taking place in Florida where an alligator could easily drag a man in heavy armor down into the water to be drowned. It seems counter intuitive on the surface, but I think the gators have this.
Logan’s Pick: Gators
8 PM, Friday 12/24 on ESPN
Easy Post Hawai’i Bowl : Clarence T.C. Ching Athletics Complex Honolulu, Hawai’i
Memphis Tigers (-8.5) v Hawai’i Rainbow Warriors
A tiger versus a rainbow warrior. Unfortunately a rainbow warrior is not an actual warrior made from rainbows (but that would be so cool). It is the warriors native to the Hawai’ian Islands.
This one is getting played at Hawai’i university’s athletic complex, so definitely a homefield advantage for the rainbow warriors. I don’t know if that will be enough though.
There aren’t many tigers on the Hawai’ian Islands that I am aware of... Makes this an interesting matchup. 1 on 1 I have to go with the tiger, I think tigers are more versatile and resilient than the majority of humans.
Logan’s Pick: Memphis
2:30 PM, Saturday 12/25 on ESPN
TaxAct Camellia Bowl : Cramton Bowl Montgomery, Alabama
Georgia State Panthers (-5.5) v Ball State Cardinals
This is the only college football game being played on Christmas this year. I have always liked the Georgia State Mascot. Good color, aggressive, slick. I preferred the old design but this new one is still good. This is a panther fighting a cardinal. Panther wins, no contest.
Logan’s Pick: Georgia State
11 AM, Monday 12/27 on ESPN
Quick Lane Bowl : Ford Field Detroit, Michigan
Western Michigan Broncos (-7) v Nevada Wolfpack
Bronco v Wolfpack. I think wolves are one of the natural predators of Broncos. I do know that horses can tear up smaller animals though so Western Michigan should not be underestimated. I’m gonna take Nevada to cover, but the Broncos will probably win the matchup.
Logan’s Pick: Wolfpack covers
2:30 PM, Monday 12/27 on ESPN
Military Bowl Presented by Peraton : Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium Annapolis, Maryland
Boston College Eagles (-3) v East Carolina Pirates
We’re counterintuitive with this pick. Pirates seem like they should take this easy, but notice a few things. Eagles are fast and hard to hit from a distance. Meanwhile the pirate in question only has one eye. My logic is, if the eagle pecks out the pirate’s eye then the pirate has no way of defending himself the rest of the fight. Gonna go with the Eagles.
Logan’s Pick: Boston College
Noon, Tuesday 12/28 on ESPN
TicketSmarter Birmingham Bowl : Protective Stadium Birmingham, Alabama
Houston Cougars v Auburn Tigers (-2.5)
This one is straightforward. On a neutral field the tiger is the bigger and stronger animal, no matter how many wins the cougar has picked up previously. sorry Houston.
Logan’s Pick: Auburn
3:30 PM, Tuesday 12/28 on ESPN
SERVPRO First Responder Bowl : Gerald J. Ford Stadium Dallas, Texas
Air Force Falcons v Louisville Cardinals (-1.5)
Similar to the one above. Falcon is a bigger bird on a neutral field. Cardinals don’t stand a chance.
Logan’s Pick: Air Force
6:45 PM, Tuesday 12/28 on ESPN
Autozone Liberty Bowl : Liberty Bowl Memorial Stadium Memphis, Tennessee
Mississippi State Bulldogs (-9) v Texas Tech Red Raiders
Kind of surprised a bulldog is getting 9 point against a man in a mask with guns riding a horse. I guess the bulldog can do some serious damage, but eventually gun is greater than dog. I’m gonna take the red raiders to cover.
Logan’s Pick: Red Raiders Cover
8 PM, Tuesday 12/28 on FOX
San Diego County Credit Union Holiday Bowl: PETCO Park San Diego, California
UCLA Bruins v #18 NC State Wolfpack (-1)
This one is tough. A wolfpack trying to fight a bear. Common knowledge states, no matter how many wolves you have, don’t go starting fights with bears. I think if the wolfpack stays coordinated they should win, but NC State is hard to predict when it comes to coordination. We have no guarantees of what the wolfpack will look like on a game to game basis. Give me the Bruins.
Logan’s Pick: Bruins
10:15 PM, Tuesday 12/28 on ESPN
Guaranteed Rate Bowl : Chase Field Phoenix, Arizona
West Virginia Mountaineers v Minnesota Golden Gophers (-4.5)
A mountaineer with a gun versus a gopher. There is a chance here for Minnesota. This game takes place in Phoenix, which is notoriously tough to live in. Very dry, not much in terms of food. If the Gophers can dig some holes to hide in a drag out the fight I think eventually the Mountaineer will die of thirst or starvation (or give up before it comes to that). I’ll take the gophers.
Logan’s Pick: Minnesota
11 AM, Wednesday 12/29 on ESPN
Wasabi Fenway Bowl : Fenway Stadium Boston, Massachusetts
SMU Mustangs v Virginia Cavaliers (-2.5)
This is literally the worst possible matchup for the mustangs. You have a horse, versus a guy who trains and rides horses for a living. Unfortunately I see no way in which the mustangs are able to overcome Virginia.
Logan’s Pick: UVA
2:15 PM, Wednesday 12/29 on ESPN
New Era Pinstripe Bowl : Yankee Stadium Bronx, New York
Maryland Terrapins (-3.5) v Virginia Tech Hokies
What is up with all the games in baseball stadiums this year?
This is an old rivalry. A terrapin and a turkey... I don’t even know. I guess the terrapin is more likely to win purely on the sense that it’s defense is impregnable to the turkey which give the terrapin time to look for a weak spot on its opponent. So yeah, I guess I’ll take terrapins.
Logan’s Pick: Maryland
5:45 PM, Wednesday 12/29 on ESPN
Cheez-It Bowl : Camping World Stadium Orlando, Florida
#19 Clemson Tigers (-1) v Iowa State Cyclones
Clemson is my least favorite tiger mascot. It’s something about the head, it just looks weird.
A cyclone facing off against a tiger. Well a cyclone has no physical form so I don’t see how the tiger can do much in this situation. A tiger might be able to wait out the storm I guess, but you can’t really fight mother nature on this one. I guess I got to go with the Cyclones.
Logan’s Pick: Iowa State
9:15 PM, Wednesday 12/29 on ESPN
Valero Alamo Bowl : Alamodome San Antonio, Texas
#14 Oregon Ducks v #12 Oklahoma Sooners (-4.5)
A duck, versus a pioneer who rushed to steal land from the government... did I get that right? I refuse to look up what a Sooner is. We want to go human, because we relate with the opposable thumbs. Unfortunately this is an ornery duck. This duck rides a motorcycle and gets in fist fights. I think the Sooners get scared and run off, Oregon at least covers.
Logan’s Pick: Oregon covers
I will post again on 12/28 for bowl games from 12/30 through 01/04.