FTRS Picks Week 9: Mascot Week

The average on picks last week was 4.67 points on average with a 3 way tie at the top scorers for the week. Congrats to James McGregor, EvilCTJacket, and kjjrb555 with 8 correct picks last week.

*Correction, there was an error with the spreadsheet. The winner this week was James McGregor who stood alone with 9 correct picks. 2nd place was MotorBuzz with 8 picks.

Picks standings:

Pick Standings

Purdue Pete scares me... there is no joke. That is a terrifying Halloween outfit.

Photo by Joe Robbins/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

This week I’m toning down the homeless ramblings. Because homecoming means I will technically have a home at least for this weekend. It is also Halloween weekend which means we’re celebrating the great outfits that support our teams.

Photo by Michael Zarrilli/Getty Images

So this week I’m gonna go with a tried and true strategy I try to apply when gambling on sports teams. This week, my picks are going to be based upon which mascot would win in a fight. The winner of the 2 mascots will be the one I pick in the game.

Photo by Mark Goldman/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

Let’s get to it. picks for this week:

Virginia Tech Hokies @ Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets (-3.5)

Logan: So we start off with a turkey trying to fight a swarm of yellow jackets. Since this is homecoming we are assuming that the turkey in question is trying to get into the hive of yellow jackets. I googled it, and found some birds are immune to a small number of yellow jacket stings. Turkeys, with their exposed heads, are not one of those birds. If this was an away game, maybe I give the turkey a better chance of fending off the yellow jackets. But this is a swarm defending it’s hive, those yellow jackets will not give up. I expect the jackets to swarm and scare off the turkey threat. The jackets then start up their model A and run the turkey over. Yellow Jackets have this one all the way.

Ben: It’s homecoming week, and after the mess of a game last week, I think Georgia Tech comes in ready to play. I don’t think it’ll be the most awe-inspiring win in the world, but I also don’t think Virginia Tech can keep up with Georgia Tech’s offense.

Logan’s pick: Jackets

Ben’s pick: Georgia Tech

Texas Longhorns @ #16 Baylor Bears (-2.5)

Logan: Bear and Bull fights have a long history in the U.S. (people back in the day had messed up ideas of what defined entertainment). From what I can find on the subject the Bears usually won the matchup. Given that the longhorn in question is already injured from losses when stumbling into this matchup, I don’t expect the Bear to struggle much in this one. Baylor with ease.

Ben: Is Texas back?

Nope.

Logan’s pick: Baylor

Ben’s pick: Baylor

Purdue Boilermakers @ Nebraska Cornhuskers (-7)

Logan: So... This guy:

Photo by Michael Allio/Icon Sportswire/Corbis/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

against a bunch of people who husk corn for a living... I will take Purdue if it will get Mr. Pete to stop haunting my nightmares.

Ben: Handymen vs. Farmers, who’s gonna win? Well, I think Mike Bobinski is still at Purdue, so that’s reason enough for me to pick against them. Also, Scott Frost is hot right now.

Logan’s pick: Purdue

Ben’s pick: Nebraska

Athans Bulldwags (-14.5) v Florida Gators

Logan: bulldogs are small animals which have been selectively bred to the point that they struggle to breathe properly. Alligators are a dangerous predator that has been around since the paleolithic era. Gators have this, no contest.

Ben: I’m not going to sit here and pretend that Georgia isn’t the best team in the country right now. They are, and outside of Alabama, I don’t see any other team being able to match up with them.

Logan’s pick: Florida covers

Ben’s pick: Georgia

#10 Ole Miss Rebels @ #18 Auburn Tigers (-1)

Logan: If this was Tigers v Rebels, I would have a much easier time calling it, but Ole Miss has added some wrinkles. Ole Miss still calls themselves the rebels but their current mascot is “Tony the Landshark”:

Photo by Michael Wade/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

I don’t have much experience with Land Sharks, but they sound terrifying. Sharks are bad enough when they can’t get to me on land. This could be a tough fight deserving of the spread. Since a tiger is more suited to land battles and land sharks seem to be more of an ambush predator (since they lack claws) I’m gonna say the tigers find a way to drag this out and win the game.

Ben: Let’s see, what mascots are we looking at today? We’ve got Rebels, Land Sharks, Tigers, War Eagles, and Plainsmen, oh my! Auburn has more nicknames, so I’m gonna pick them.

Logan’s pick: Tigers

Ben’s pick: War Plainstigers

#20 Penn State Nittany Lions @ #5 Ohio State Buckeyes (-17.5)

Logan: A fuzzy lion versus what appears to be a man with a nut for a head. On Principal I want to say a lion could beat a nut in death combat, but I also can’t think of any examples where a lion has fought a nut to the death. As an engineer, I like to have some scientific backing for my decisions. For all I know lions could be allergic to buckeyes, and the lion could die just from being in the same room as a buckeye. I’ll take the Lions to cover, but don’t be surprised if the nut proves to be more of a challenge than what you see on the surface.

Ben: Ohio State seems to be doing a lot better than it looked like earlier this season, so at this point, I think they keep rolling. Penn State is also probably still tired from playing a million and a half overtimes last week.

Logan’s pick: Penn State covers

Ben’s pick: THE Ohio State

Fresno State Bulldogs @ #21 San Diego State Aztecs (-1)

Logan: We already discussed my opinions on bulldogs. In this matchup the bulldog is not facing an alligator, it is facing a Aztec warrior carrying a spear. Give me $1000 on the Aztec warrior please.

Ben: I don’t know much about either of these teams, so I’m just going to leave my analysis purely to the Bindex, which says Fresno wins by about a touchdown.

Logan’s pick: Aztecs

Ben’s pick: Fresno State

North Carolina Tar Heels @ #11 Notre Dame Fighting Irish (-3.5)

Logan: Ignore the labels. The mascots in this matchup are a human, goat, and Egyptian pharaoh hybrid in the form of UNC’s mascot Ramses. For ND you have to fight a leprechaun. If we’re looking purely at physical strength you would go with Ramses. Unfortunately for UNC fans leprechauns are smart, tricky, and have magic. I think Ramses gives a strong showing early, but eventually the leprechaun will find a way to overcome any threat Ramses could pose. ND takes this one.

Ben’s pick: I don’t know why this spread is so low. North Carolina is still a really bad football team, and tbh I think Notre Dame wins this by two scores at least.

Logan’s pick: Notre Dame

Ben’s pick: The Irish

Virginia Cavaliers @ #25 BYU Cougars (-2.5)

Logan: A mounted soldier on a horse with a sword versus a cougar. This is closer than it sounds. The cavalier is in the Cougar’s home territory of the mountains. This means there isn’t much room to maneuver and there are plenty of spots for the Cougar to lay an ambush. I do think the cavalier will take this one, but there is no way the cavalier doesn’t come away unscathed. Virginia covers in a close one.

Ben: Virginia is probably going to pass for a lot of yards and score a lot of points. BYU, meanwhile, hasn’t scored more than 35 points in a game this season. I’ll take my chances with the Cavs.

Logan’s pick: Cavaliers

Ben’s pick: Thomas Jefferson’s school

#6 Michigan Wolverines (-3.5) @ #8 Michigan State Spartans

Logan: Similar to the last matchup this is a wolverine taking on a fully armored and armed spartan warrior. The difference here is that the wolverine is taking it to the Spartan’s turf. To be fair a Spartan is not specifically trained to fight wolverines, and their long spears and heavy armor can be a detriment in some ways. Still I expect a well trained Spartan at home to eventually find a way to take out a wolverine, especially as more Spartans become aware of the problem. Michigan State wins outright.

Ben: I don’t like Jim Harbaugh so.....give me Sparty

Logan’s pick: Michigan State

Ben’s pick: Sparty

BONUS ROUND: Houston Astros v Atlanta Braves (Winner of Entire Series)

Logan: Bonus round this week. In theory this could last until after our picks for next week post; I’ll figure something out if that happens, but for now lets get to the fight. So we have Blooper. A blooper is either high hit a ball that drops for a hit or it’s this thing:

Photo by David J. Griffin/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

versus Orbit, which is this thing:

Photo by Carmen Mandato/Getty Images

Looking between the two it seems like blooper has more size and has a poker face since his eyes don’t tell you what he’s thinking. Orbit is known for being a cheater, but he also has less motivation than Blooper. Blooper is from Atlanta and we all know how things go for people from Atlanta in the playoffs. Still Blooper has the drive and the fury. Given that I know nothing else about what these two things are, I gotta go with Blooper. Could something good happen to Atlanta? Dare to dream boys.

Ben: I don’t follow baseball quite as much as I used to, and the Bindex doesn’t tell me anything about either of these teams, so I’ll leave it at this. The Braves had made it this far on a hope and a prayer after losing Ronald Acuña and Mike Soroka. Quite honestly, I wasn’t expecting them to get this far. But I feel like you always see teams like this in the Playoffs. It’s the team that no one expected to make it this far, but they get hot and do the thing. And that’s exactly what happens here.

Logan’s pick: *Tomahawk Chopping*

Ben’s pick: Bravos in 6