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Monday Musings: Tips and Tricks to Survive the Season

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Wanna know how to get the most out of this fall? Follow me to the promised land.

NCAA Football: Alcorn State at Georgia Tech Adam Hagy-USA TODAY Sports

MY PEOPLE.

The season is upon us. With the Jackets now tied with Bama at 1-0, I figured this week would be a good time to help y’all out with the things you’ll need to survive the season. While this is by no means an exhaustive list, it is fairly comprehensive. A healthy adherence to this list will provide you with the ability to weather anything that shall befall our dear Jackets as the Season of our Lord Two Thousand and Eighteen progresses. Let’s get to it.

YOU GON LEARN TODAY

Get a new Adidas polo

Duh. Buy some threads; flex in ‘em. We owe it to ourselves to be the most swagged out fanbase in 2018. Do your part for the cause. Preferably, get two and alternate them as your “gameday shirts”. You don’t have to commit to the whole “I don’t wash my lucky shirts” thing, but definitely consider making one your lucky shirt. Everyone loves the guy with the lucky shirt.

Get a smart-sounding phrase to repeat incessantly

This is the big one. When viewing games this season, you will likely be in one of two scenarios: watching with other Tech fans or watching with non-Tech fans. A solid yet ambiguous phrase will allow you to deftly navigate either situation with grace and intelligence. In the former case, you will assert yourself as someone in the know. People will look listen to you and think Wow. They really know what they’re talking about. What an alpha. In the latter case, you’ll be thought of as the keeper to some mystic, esoteric secret. Your non-Tech companions will think Wow. This GT football t r i p l e o p t i o n stuff is wild. I wonder if the whole fanbase is this smart. What am I saying? Of course they are.

Now, you’ll need some guidelines for what to say. You want to appear intelligent, but you don’t want to overcommit to something too specific. That’s how you get into trouble. It has to be gripping, yet ambiguous enough that you still give your listeners the common courtesy of being able to reasonably pretend they know what you’re talking about. Allow me to give a couple examples:

  • We just need to keep feeding the B-back - this is a favorite in the student section. The beauty in this one is that at no point are you wrong. You can say it at any time in the game and it might be reasonably true.
  • Darn, {OL player} missed his assignment, that could’ve been a big play - this is best said after a short 1 yard gain up the middle. Remember, our offense is always just one block away from a 75 yard touchdown. Make sure the people around you know this. They can’t prove you wrong, and you appear both supremely confident and knowledgeable about our blocking schemes. It’s a win-win for you.

Make Ted Roof jokes

I know, I know. This is the lowest of low hanging fruit. But it still plays. Defense gets a sack? Man somewhere Ted Rood is crying! Defense makes a mistake? What, is Ted Roof still here? It’s almost too easy. You’ll gain a lot of favors amongst your gold compatriots on game day with these fire jokes. A common enemy always breeds camaraderie.

Have real knowledge of the offense

I’m actually serious about this one. Knowing how our offense works makes gamedays a lot of fun. Check out this horribly formatted blog or hear it from the ornery jedi master himself in this video. Alex Carrick also does a nice YouTube series called “Flexbone 101” that goes through a lot of the main plays we run.

Have nicknames for a few different players

Here’s another one that makes you look like you are more knowledgeable than you really are. Calling players by a nickname makes you look more comfortable with the team and what they’re doing. It’s that perfect balance of casual and intelligent that we Techies so often yearn for. I call KirVonte Benson “Vonte” and Victor Alexander “Thicc Vic”. Bonus points if you can come up with something weird enough that people have to ask you who you’re talking about. Knowledge is power.

Make a great gameday playlist

This is a must, no matter if you’re attending the game in person or watching it on TV a thousand miles away. Nothing gets me in the mood for football quite like a great playlist burning through some country, some classic rock, and finishing with the fight song. A good playlist is preferably enjoyed whilst in a rocking chair on a porch or playing cornhole, but almost any situation will do if the playlist is good enough.

Sounds great Chris. I bet you have great taste, what’s on your gameday playlist?

Glad you asked. We open with O Cumberland River (the best song to wake up to imo), slide into some CCR, transition to Alabama, and then about two hours later finish off with the fight song.

Pick a second team

At least until we smack Clemson around, Tech will likely be playing noon games this year. What is a fan to do when the game ends at 2:45 (lol rush-heavy offenses)? Root for someone else, that’s what. Pick yourself a second team to follow. It obviously probably won’t be someone you are as passionate about as Tech, but it can still be fun and will get you more invested in watching other games as the day goes on. A few guidelines:

  • Don’t pick someone in the ACC. I shouldn’t have to say this.
  • Don’t pick Alabama. Don’t be that guy.
  • Aim for a good G5 team. Think Boise State or Toledo. Rockets are pretty sweet.

Me? I put on my blue suede shoes and drafted Memphis first overall for the G5 portion of my fantasy league. Tell me, are you a [Memphis fan] child? MA’AM I AM TONIGHT.

Meet fans from other schools

Yeah yeah, other schools suck we’re the best, whatever. Meeting other football fans is fun, and you’ll probably have a great conversation. I’m not talking about being friends with a uga fan, I’m talking about chatting with Bowling Green fans or having a beer with someone from Pitt. It’s neat to see how other fanbases operate and it’s cool to shoot the [Spandau Ballet] about college football with people who aren’t from Tech and have a different perspective.

One of my favorite stories to tell is meeting a Mississippi State couple after the Orange Bowl in 2014 (2015? It was like 12:45 am). This lady came up to me while we were walking through the parking lot after the game and hugged me (read: jumped on my back), and when I went to shake the guy’s hand he told me (in a glorious drawl) “we’re huggers” and gave me the largest bear hug I’ve ever received. We then talked for a few minutes about the game and they were genuinely some of the nicest people I’ve ever met, and were very complimentary of our team and our fans. The guy then let me ring his cowbell which was a m a z i n g.

If you follow this sage advice from a twenty-something I guarantee your Saturdays will be A1 steak sauce. Let me know what your best tips and tricks are in the comments, I’d love to hear ‘em.