It never ends. National signing day 2018 has just barely been put to rest, but work on the class of 2019 has already begun.
Many of you may recall the rather..... rough start Georgia Tech had to last year’s recruiting season, as Paul Johnson & co. didn’t lock down recruit #1 until June. You need not worry about such an occurrence repeating itself, as you may also recall the football staff seeing a major shake-up, and the new staff is already getting to work, nabbing the commitment of safety Jeremiah Smith yesterday. Kieffer has all the details.
Get ‘em while they’re... uh, slightly above room temperature. Tickets for the 2018 Georgia Tech football season are on sale as of today! Or yesterday now, but it was today when I was writing this. There are plenty of details to be had, but let’s be real: you already know by now whether you’re renewing your tickets or not.
Future engineers take on future corrupt politicians. Baseball coach Danny Hall and his Swingin’ Jackets are off to their best start this year, having split their opening four games. This weekend they welcome the Big Green of Dartmouth for the first time in 93 years. Though the Jackets have struggled to start the season, oh no wHaT’s HaPpEnInG Ĭ̴̳̪̘̩̯̜̪̦̣͗̐͠͝ͅ ̵̨̧̫̮͈͉̺̯̠̗̋̑̉͗͑ͅṯ̷̨̛̼̻͙̮͓̳͔̪̗̃͐͊̑̅̆́͆̂͆̾͝h̷̛̙̱̮̞͖̜̬̦̝͖͉̭͐̂̊̉͐̒̅̒̋͐̅ȯ̸̜͍̼̣̺̝̓̇͗̊͠ͅu̴̡̥̎́̽̃͌͋̿̓̒̃̇͋ǵ̷̛̜̫̥̝̻͇̰͓͕͋̈́͐̉̾̿̓̽͋͛͊̎͝ḩ̶̛̻̠̫̪̗͓̠̋͗̄͐͗͋̏̚t̴̛̫̥͈̰͉̋̾̔̄̽̊̄̀̈̓͆̈̕͜͜ͅ ̷̛̱͓̼̐́͛͒͋̕͝t̵̡̢̫̻̻̭̻̱̬̩͍̗̬͍̉͑̓͐̍h̶̢̢͇͚͍̜͈̱͙̎͗̈́̈́̅̽̋̽̍̈́́̕͜͠į̴̖̹͈͖̓s̵̨̢̖̤̝̦͕̈́͌͗͐͋ ̶͕͚̟̙͉̐̍̊̌̈́͐͐̂̎͋̊̒̃͝w̶̥͖̻̳̱̺͎̺̝̬͕̃̍̋̓̽̅̆á̶̠̮͉̖̜̼̟͕̳͚͌̾͋͋̈́̏̈̈́̐̓͂͂͝͠s̶̰͈̩̮̓̂̀͗̋̈͆̓̓̍̏̓͂͜ ̶̺̮̞̳̝̮͓̦͇̽͂͋̈́ö̴͔̮́v̸̛̝̊̀͌̆̃̈́̓̊̈͝͝ȇ̴̢̛͓͇̺͈̞͖̳̹̟̞̱̥͔̀͋̊͝ŗ̸͔͔̮͎̣͕͔̝̜̘͖̲̀̈́̅
EARTH CITIZENS...... GREETINGS.
THE TIDES OF THE PLANET EBB AND FLOW. LIFE GROWS, WITHERS, AND DIES. THE PLANET CONTINUES ITS ORBIT AROUND THE STAR. TO YOU, IT FEELS LIKE AGES. TO US, IT IS MERELY ANOTHER MOMENT IN TIME.
MANY SUCH MOMENTS HAVE PASSED SINCE EMPEROR SABAN STRUCK DOWN HIS DISCIPLE TO RECLAIM HIS POSITION AS OVERLORD OF FOOTBALL - AN EVENT MANY OF YOU ATTEMPTED TO PREDICT, BUT, UNSURPRISINGLY, NONE CORRECTLY. NONETHELESS, IT IS PAST DUE TO RECOGNIZE THOSE AMONG YOU WHO WERE LEAST DEFICIENT IN FORESEEING THE SEASON OF BOWLS. THE CITIZENS KNOWN AS Blaaaaaaaake, DressHerInWhiteAndGold, AND mrheckles ARE TO BE HERALDED AS THE MOST CAPABLE OF YOUR KIND, ALL OF WHOM ATTAINED A SCORE OF 27. THE REST OF YOU MAY VIEW YOUR SHAME IN THE ETERNAL ARCHIVE.
NOW IT IS ONCE AGAIN TIME TO LEAVE YOU TO YOUR OWN DEVICES. WE SHALL RETURN TO AGAIN JUDGE YOU IN DUE TIME. DO YOUR BEST TO MAKE SURE THE PLANET SURVIVES IN THE INTERIM.
......oh, man, my head. What was I talking about? I can’t remember anything....