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Illuminati Picks, Week 8: Ol’ Crimson comes home

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HOME. WHAT AN ODD HUMAN CONCEPT.

WE HAVE BEEN TO THE FAR REACHES OF THE UNIVERSE

VIEW LAST WEEK’S RESULTS

VIEW SEASON STANDINGS

#6 Michigan Wolverines (-7) @ #24 Michigan State Spartans

Of the many Michigan intrastate rivalries, the battle for the Paul Bunyan Trophy certainly is one of them. Mark Dantonio lost his first game in the series way back in 2007; the Wolverines are on their third coach since then, while Dantonio has won eight of the last ten. The directional Michigan rivalries have been more competitive in the past decade. All of them. But Michigan has Weird Coach now, so they’re eventually going to be better, right? I mean, they have been, as long as you don’t look at Weird Coach’s record against Michigan’s top two rivals. It’s not good.

Illuminati pick: Michigan

#9 Oklahoma Sooners (-8) @ TCU Horned Frogs

It’s a high-octane rematch of last year’s Big 12 championship. What are the odds? Oh, right, 100%, because the Big 12 has a round-robin schedule and a championship game, for some reason. OU has had an extra week to lick its wounds after losing to Texas, and has already forgotten the name “Mike Stoops”. Will a change in defensive coordinators signal a change in results for the Sooners? It’s the Big 12, so, unlikely. But if it means they only allow 41 to Texas in this year’s championship game instead of 48, that might be enough.

Illuminati pick: OU

#16 NC State Wolfpack @ #2 Clemson Tigers (-17.5)

NC State-Clemson pits the ACC’s two ranked teams up against each other and..... wait, that can’t be right. Two ranked ACC teams? What is this, 2008? Did we all need to make room to rank literally half the SEC? (Imagine a 5-0 SEC team that still couldn’t crack the top 15. Kentucky fans would be out for blood.) People are saying this game could decide the ACC Atlantic, and, you, sure, there is some scenario where NC State beats Clemson (they almost did last year! and the year before that), but even if that happens, do you really have faith in the Wolfpack not screwing this up somewhere else? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Illuminati pick: NC State

#22 Mississippi State Bulldogs @ #5 LSU Tigers (-6.5)

Remember when LSU fans were this close to running Ed Orgeron out of town? Fans, hah! What do they know? If it weren’t for LSUing themselves against Florida two weeks ago, the Tigers would be undefeated after last week’s demolition of Georgia. The only thing standing between them and a matchup with Bama for Game of the Century II™ are the SEC’s other Bulldogs, who..... are good, apparently? I mean, they’ve beaten Auburn, right? Except this is a bad Auburn year. Hey, wasn’t I just saying something about how half the SEC is ranked?

Illuminati pick: LSU

#12 Oregon Ducks @ #25 Washington State Cougars (-3)

It’s coming home. Fifteen years ago, a Washington State flag appeared at College GameDay. It’s appeared at every one since. 216 appearances later, GameDay is finally coming to Pullman. How did it happen? Well.... look at this week’s slate. You might as well, right? But I digress; it’s an exciting time on the Palouse, and I’d advise Cougar fans to make the most of it. I remember when GameDay came to Georgia Tech*; it was one of the most exciting days of my life**.

*editor’s note: this is a lie, the writer was a high school senior when it happened

**editor’s note: still lying, the writer wasn’t even living in Georgia

Illuminati pick: Oregon

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