The Common Man’s approach to CFB, brought to you by the most normal person on any team.
After a nervous first half on Saturday and a hurricane (tropical storm) Monday, we’re coming to you live from, the city of, Houstatlantavegas...
Not actually, but there’s about 3 cities worth of football to talk about. But we’ll get into that another time.
The Jackets won, and the meritocracy that is the M?M?BP dictates the masses get words mashed together to form sentences, so without further adieu...
1) I hate consumerism
this happened. As much as I want to stand here and defend the viewpoint of having “home field advantage” this and “defending this house” that, when it comes down to it, a lot of Notre Dame consumers just got their season tickets paid for by a bunch of other consumers who priced themselves out of going to a football game. [sidenote/store this away for another time: why does uga not travel North? Could it be that winning 10 games a year is too important to risk playing a second non-conference P5 team? Shhhhhhhh you shouldn’t have fired Richt shhhhhhh]
2) I’m doomed to never win my Pick ‘Em.
For the second straight week, I scored exactly 40 out of 55 points in my work pool, landing me just outside of the money. I’d like to not go the whole season without winning, because I’m also the one running the whole show behind the scenes, and it takes a larger portion of my time than I’d like to do for free.
3) Can we talk about Clemson’s social media..? He said sheepishly
So I think this is something that I’ve known for a long time, but Clemson’s good at this kind of stuff [VOLUME WARNING]:
Their social media account is literally littered with cool posts like these that are simple, centered, and [Foreigner]ing cool.
Tech doesn’t yet have that kind of presence, but how cool would it be?
Are you a member of the Georgia Tech media department? Read this article from the sbnation mothership and please help me realize my dreams of adequate Georgia Tech media coverage.
Things I Think I Know
1) The resident CFB Bad Boy now is a split title
Because until December, Lamar Jackson is the abiding dude, but Baker Mayfield is currently making the strongest case otherwise.
27/35 passing, 386 yards, 3 touches, on the road, against a ranked team, which was OHIO STATE...
Plant that flag and do the dance all over Urban’s serious face. The Block O should have a U attached to it, at least until this Saturday.
2) Very quietly, Jeff Brohm is making Purdue not bad
They’re 1-1 after winning this past weekend against Ohio, but it’s not that they won against a team from the MAC, it’s that they did it scoring 44 points and rocking these sweet uni’s. This team also took Louisville to the wire in Week 1, and have a Missouri squad to play this coming weekend that just fired their defensive coordinator. I’d go out on a limb and bet your rent money on Purdue to cover +7.
3) Duke is like 40% back?
They boat-raced Northwestern this past weekend, and I’m gonna hate if they decide they want to be good again, because I generally dislike Duke fans, especially diehard Duke football fans, because I’m pretty sure they don’t exist. But I guess I would have said the same thing before the
TaxSlayer Gator Bowl...
4) It pains me that Michigan State is 1 win from matching their season win total from 2016.
We feel for you Sparty. It gets better.
5) YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST
Bret Bielema to Boston College. ACC Atlantic beware, a refrigerator of a man is coming to the harbah to try to be better at football.
[If I’m right in this pick, I’ll quit my job and go to Vegas. Brent Musburger lives there now, why I can’t I?]
This past Saturday, Tech got my nerve revolutions per minute (NRPM’s) up to a solid 2900. Without the two timely turnovers the defense found themselves holding, I would’ve needed someone to gather my thoughts for me while I was on the field metaphorically strangling everyone keeping us from waltzing through that game.
In the future, I’d like to have a graphic of sorts for this section, but we’ll see. If anyone wants to come up with interval descriptions to this tachometer in the comments, it’ll be taken into consideration moving forward.
Kenny Trill Heisman of the Week (KTHotW)
The Trillest has yet to come back for his throne (59.9 QBR against Arkansas), so we must look for a new tenant.
Week 2 Winner
Patrick Laird - RB - Cal
12 carries, 191 yards, 3 touches. What caught my eye here was the 15.9 ypc over more than 10 carries. Sure it was Weber State, but at least Cal wasn’t playing a team that was really bad, like idk, North Carolina. Who they also beat.
Welcome to the club Patrick, we hope you never make it back here.
Does Tech need a Tee [Boston]?
I made it my point to take note of this on Saturday, and the Specialists have yet to anoint their chosen one. I’m sure it would help Shawn Davis, but I can’t be 100% sure. Pretty sure Tennessee had one.
Just send a kid out on the field to get the tee so I can quit writing this segment and just report the splits for the game and move along with my life.
Tin Horn Team of the Week
It’s gotta be Baylor right?? This is not how Matt Rhule wished to start off his tenure with the Bears. Coming off of an offseason with more questions than just what’s going on during practice, Rhule looked to gain some early momentum before the Big 12 schedule looked to kick them in the teeth like some sort of burrow/longhorn/whatever a sooner is.
Live look at Baylor’s fans hopes so far this year:
Prop Bet of the Week
For those degenerates that found themselves betting in the comments section of a sports blog on QB playing time in a game between a P5 and FCS team, first and foremost:
Second, the Over hit with 3 QB’s taking snaps for the home team. Sorry to UnCivil Engineer for expecting a push and shame on you LxUn1c0 for questioning my ability to set a line.
This week’s bet now that our game is cancelled:
Most intriguing to me this week is the line on the Ole Miss @ Cal game. Ole Miss -3.5
Is there something Vegas knows that we don’t? Because I think this should at least by 10 points skewed to Ole Miss. But if that’s too vanilla for your betting tastes.
Number of teams facing Service Academies that will cover this weekend: O/U 1.5
Michigan hosts Air Force and a 24 point spread
Ohio State hosts Army and a 30 point spread
Lemme know your thoughts and feelings about both this and the world as a whole in the comments section. It’s your safe space to tell me or anyone we can’t write/don’t matter/ etc. as long as you stay within the site rules
(Eaux)de to the O
BECAUSE WHY NOT BE THE FACE OF A CHICKEN JOINT
God bless this man.
The More You Know
Wanna learn how human battering rams can be used to run a piece of leather up a field of grass? Ian Boyd has more...
Punters are People Too
This did not make the reel last week, but should be included unfortunately.
This is not how you fake a punt, BYU pic.twitter.com/30L68QcyXi— Dr. Saturday (@YahooDrSaturday) September 3, 2017
I swear there are athletic punters out there somewhere...
T’s & P’s
Go out to Jarrett Stidham this week. Ole’ boy got sacked 11 times against Clemson
which makes me nervous about our game against them
What If? of the Week
What if you had stayed up to watch the Washington State vs. Boise State game?
Answer: You would have been late to church on Sunday. But seriously, the game didn’t end until 2:40am EST, and was this season’s official first showing of “Pac-12 After Dark”
You also missed this bit from a Pirate who has looked straight past 40 into the dark abyss of The Air Raid:
Mike Leach goes full Gregg Popovich on Quint Kessenich pic.twitter.com/FvQvCUzWY3— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) September 10, 2017
As always, thanks for reading, and hopefully next week I'll be bringing you all the column at its normal time, preferably on Monday, preferably in the morning. Just like the doctor ordered.