Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to pay our respects. Butch Jones, the Champion of Life, is no longer with us. He leaves behind a legacy of winning - not necessarily on the field, but always in the press conference.
On a happier note, congratulations to Miami for winning their first ACC Coastal championship! Miami becomes the fifth team to represent the Coastal in the ACC championship, following Georgia Tech (a bunch of times), Virginia Tech (even more times), UNC, and, yes, even Duke. But you finally did it, Canes! Da U is back, bay-bay!
Duff’d It! Rankings, Week 11
5. Mississippi State. It was really about the little thing for the Bulldogs on Saturday: their first lead over Bama in forever, forcing the Tide to endure three rushing touchdowns also for the first time.... you know, things like that. But ultimately Mississippi State’s upset hopes flew away with Nick Fitzgerald’s hail mary attempt. Remember: there is no escape. There is no solace. There is only Bama.
4. Washington. In an ironic twist, the Apple Cup has been rendered irrelevant by a bunch of trees. It is the Huskies’ sincerest hope you were busy Friday evening and thus unable to witness their sacking at the hands of Bryce love and the Stanford Cardinal.
3. Michigan State. Mark Dantonio and local Lansing sportswriters were a bit at odds over exactly how much the Spartans had to lose going into their game vs. Ohio State. I think Dantonio was right.
2. Notre Dame. In the battle between the Gold Domers and gold turnover chains, there could only be one winner, and it wasn’t the hard-workin’ boys from South Bend. As a bonus, Miami’s win not only helped Mark Richt’s Miami team (obviously), but it also really hurt the school that fired him. Speaking of.....
1. Georgia. Okay. Alright. I’m going to handle this in a calm manner and not let my personal biases get in the I’M JUST KIDDING Y’ALL GEORGIA GOT THE TAR BEATEN OUT OF THEM AND I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT AND WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO UNTIL NEXT SATURDAY. BUT UNTIL THEN!
Honorable Mention: Virginia Tech. If you were wondering what Hokies coach Justin Fuente was thinking at pretty much any point during their game vs. Georgia Tech, so are the Hokies. Me, I’ve decided madness lies that way, so I choose to simply accept it and move on.
SEC Conference Plays of the Week
Here's the worst fumble recovery attempt of all time, brought to you by @FSU_Barstool pic.twitter.com/M85ofaei1m— Barstool Clemson (@BarstoolClemson) November 11, 2017
Florida State scrambled to put ULM back on the schedule once their season started going south. Might have wanted to scramble to get a couple other things done first, though.
“Can you shank a fumble?” “Florida can.”
Employee of the Month of the Week
Malcolm Perry, QB, Navy
On the list of “truly patriotic things”, destroying your own Keurig is at the bottom, while suiting up to represent one of the branches of the American military in college football is, you know, not the highest, but it’s in the top ten. But even higher than that is throwing a single pass, deciding, nah, we’re not going to do that again, and running the ball the entire rest of the game. That’s what Malcom Perry did: that one pass was a pick, so he chose to just keep running the ball, and when he called his own number - which he did 33 times - he did to great success for 282 yards and four touchdowns. That’s worthy of the highest honors, and for that, Malcolm Perry, we salute you.