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Duff’d It! Rankings and Other Accolades: Boring Week 2017

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THIS ISN’T THE COLLEGE FOOTBALL WE KNOW AND LOVE

I GET KNOCKED DOWN/BUT I GET UP AGAIN/YOU’RE NEVER GONNA KEEP ME DOWN

The Duff’d It! Council of Elders enjoyed week 7 of college football this season more than any other by far. Seriously, how lucky were we to see four top ten teams fall, and Boston College score 45 points in a single game?

But now it seems we’ve been hit with karmic retribution. Week 8 only saw two ranked teams defeated - the absolute minimum, as there were only two ranked-vs-ranked matchups this weekend. But that’s fine, we’ll make our own rankings. With blackjack, and hookers! In fact, forget the blackjack. Or the hookers. The Duff’d It! Rankings are all you need.

Duff’d It! Rankings, Week 8

5. Georgia Southern. He was only around for a year and a half, but Tyson Summers is already riding the Luxurious Eagle Cadillac out of Statesboro. Losing 55-20 to previously winless (and still conference-less) Massachusetts will do that. It’s a rule. Now the only question is who will be coaching the Eagles when they lose to Georgia State, again?

4. Michigan. Last year the Wolverines gave Penn State a B1G ol’ butt-whippin’ that essentially kept the Nittany Lions out of the Playoff, and ohhhhhh boy you can bet James Franklin and company did not forget. Trace McSorley and Saquon Barkley have combined for about 14 more touchdowns in Jim Harbaugh’s nightmares since Saturday, and Franklin might still be tweaking the Wolverines if he didn’t have to immediately turn around and get ready for Ohio State. Lucky you, Michigan.

3. Kansas. I know, right? How does Kansas make the Duff’d It! Rankings when they’re already, you know, Kansas? Well, failing to cover a 37.5 point spread in a conference game will help. Especially in primetime on national television. Especially especially when you’re a Big 12 team and you gain 21 yards. Total. For the entire game. That’s right, Kansas made the rankings not because they were finally good enough to make them, but because they found a way to fall below what is normally thought of as Kansas. Congratulations, Jahawks.

2. Purdue. People have been throwing around words like “entertaining” to describe Purdue football this year, words not typically associated with Purdue football. But, you know, I could totally see how nearly failing to score a single touchdown at Rutgers fits certain people’s definition of “entertainment”. Probably not any Purdue fan’s, though.

1. USC. I think Notre Dame was trying to score a touchdown for every time the Spirit of Troy played Tribute to Troy. They didn’t quite there, but they had to have been close.

Honorable mention: Texas. Another overtime loss? A week after just missing the upset over OU? These losses burn, your stomach churns.... [claps] Deep in the heaaaaaaaaart of Texas!

SEC Conference Plays of the Week

Syracuse quarterback Eric Dungey probably owes Daniel Bryan royalties after hitting Miami’s Sheldrick Redwine with the Knee Plus. This video cuts off presumably right before Dungey starts a “YES!” chant.

Wait. Am I - am I supposed to kick it right now?

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure - he’s supposed to kick it now, right?”

Okay, I’m gonna kick it.

“Wait no DON’T-”

Employee of the Month of the Week

NCAA Football: West Virginia at Baylor Ray Carlin-USA TODAY Sports

Will Grier, QB, West Virginia

Baylor has come a long way this season, from losing to FCS and G5 schools to.... still losing, but at least coming a missed 2-point conversion away from taking a ranked team to overtime. Unfortunately, the Bears couldn’t overcome neither that nor Spencer Hall’s favorite player Will Grier, who went 26 for 37 on the day throwing for 375 yards and 5 touchdowns for the Mountaineers. And, really, in a battle between mountaineers and bears, where are you going to put your money?