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A SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM THE ILLUMINATI

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WE HAVE AWAKENED FROM OUR SLUMBER TO SEND YOU A REMINDER

WE ARE ALWAYS WITH YOU
WE ARE ALWAYS WITH YOU

GREETINGS, EARTH CITIZENS. IT HAS BEEN SOME TIME SINCE WE HAVE LAST ADDRESSED YOU, OR SO WE ARE TOLD. FOR WHILE THREE MONTHS HAVE PASSED IT WAS MERELY THE BLINK OF AN EYE TO US. TIME IS MEANINGLESS TO THE ILLUMINATI FOR WE ARE ETERNAL; NEVER FORGET THIS.

WE HOPE YOU HAVE ENJOYED THIS YEAR'S EDITION OF MARCH MADNESS. IT IS OUR ANNUAL REMINDER THAT, DESPITE YOUR DELUSIONAL CLAIMS TO THE OPPOSITE, CHAOS AND DISCORD ARE WHAT ALL HUMANS TRULY VALUE THE MOST. WE PREFER THINGS THAT WAY, CONTROLLING YOU ALL IS SO MUCH EASIER WHEN THERE IS SO MUCH "EVIDENCE" TO SUGGEST THE OPPOSITE IS TRUE.

SURELY YOU WERE AWARE OF THE BRACKET CHALLENGE THAT OCCURRED ON THIS VERY WEBSITE, WHICH JOEY CREATED UNDER OUR DIRECTIVE. EACH YEAR COUNTLESS ORDINARY HUMANS ATTEMPT TO MAKE SENSE OF OUR MACHINATIONS; EACH YEAR, COUNTLESS HUMANS FAIL. AND ONCE AGAIN, ALL OF YOU WORLDWIDE HAVE FAILED TO PREDICT OUR PLANS.

HOWEVER, ONE AMONG YOU ROSE ABOVE THE OTHER 73 TO CLAIM THE FROM THE RUMBLE SEAT BRACKET CHAMPIONSHIP, AND NOW IS THE TIME FOR THEM TO BE RECOGNIZED. THAT PERSON IS NONE OTHER THAN OUR OWN EMISSARY, MAGNACARTERGT. TRULY, WE HAVE CHOSEN OUR REPRESENTATIVES WELL, AS HE IS A SHINING EXAMPLE OF THE HUMAN RACE AND ITS POTENTIAL, AND YOU ALL WOULD DO WELL TO EMULATE HIM.

THE REST OF YOU MAY VIEW YOUR FEEBLE ATTEMPTS TO FOLLOW US HERE. NOT ONE OF YOU CAME CLOSE TO FULLY GRASPING OUR PLANS; PERHAPS NEXT YEAR ONE OF YOU WILL REALIZE WE DO NOT OPERATE ACCORDING TO YOUR FEEBLE HUMAN "LOGIC", THOUGH OUR CONFIDENCE IN SUCH AN OCCURRENCE IS NIL.

NOW WE SHALL RETURN TO OUR OWN AFFAIRS, GUIDING THE FUTURE OF HUMAN SOCIETY. BUT FRET NOT, FOR YOU SHALL HEAR FROM US AGAIN SOON.

REMEMBER ALWAYS THAT WE RULE.