When Tech makes the short drive to Athens this weekend, there are a couple of key factors which could very well contribute to a victory: the momentum of a two-game win streak and the return of B-Back Dedrick Mills. I’m more focused on the latter given that Georgia’s win streak stands at three games and would therefore, at least by that logic, be more of a motivating factor than Tech’s, so let’s talk instead about Dedrick Mills. Paul Johnson has already said that he fully expects Marcus Marshall, who filled in exceptionally well for Mills over the past few weeks and during his first suspension, to start against UGA. That’s the right call, as Marshall has unquestionably earned the start. Over the course of Mills’ two-game suspension, he ran for 143 yards against Virginia Tech and 127 yards against Virginia with a touchdown in each game. How could Johnson justify starting someone like Dedrick Mills — immensely talented but unable to keep himself on the straight-and-narrow — over someone who has clearly performed well and silently taken a backseat all year long after leading the team in rushing a season ago? Mills will get his fill of carries, but Marshall deserves to have his name in the starting lineup.
We rarely get to refer to a game as a matchup between two big-time kickers, but Georgia kicker Rodrigo Blankenship and Tech kicker Harrison Butker could each have a massive role in shaping the outcome of the game. On the Tech side, Butker is now just four points away from Tech’s all-time lead in scoring. That’s a mark that he should reach on Saturday, barring another 2015-style score or Paul Johnson deciding to go for two every time — two highly unlikely propositions. Blankenship, meanwhile, is a walk-on who has shown a lot of improvement this year. You can tell a lot about the overall performance of a football team by how much fans and announcers rave about a kicker, and let’s just say that Georgia fans and radio personalities alike have spent an exorbitant amount of time on the topic of kicking all year long. It’s nothing against Blankenship, who seems like a nice guy, but rather an indication that this has been a rough season for Georgia. When the only takeaway from every game is how many field goals were made or missed, something’s wrong.
Before we get to today’s main cringe, let’s do some fact-checking of this profane rant (NSFW, I guess?) by a YouTube “personality” known as Uncle Lou. This is just a warm-up cringe for the next one, but it’s pretty funny nonetheless.
What an angry little guy. Let’s see how true his statements are, starting from the top.
Claim: You have two or three wins against us this millennium! You’re terrible. You’re terrible.
Truth: 17-16, Vanderbilt
Claim: When you cheat, and you win, and have your wins vacated, you can’t claim your treats from a year you had to cheat to win!
Truth: No argument here. Demaryius Thomas is on record saying that the snuggly comfort of the clothes that he received were the exclusive reason that Tech won the 2009 ACC Championship. Uncle Lou got us this time.
Claim: THIS SATURDAY WHEN WE PLAY YOU, IT’S A FOOTBAWL GAME! IT’S NOT A SPELLIN BEE, OR, OR, A SCIENCE PRAWJECT!
Truth: I’ll let the NCAA’s mission statement handle this one.
Claim: QUIT PRETENDING THAT GEORGIA TECH IS SOME PRESTIGIOUS INSTITUTE OF HIGHER LEARNING! IT’S LIKE THE ALTERNATIVE SCHOOL OF ACADEMIC SCHOOLS!
Truth: I guess he’s saying that people who don’t get to into Duke/UNC/Notre Dame go to Georgia Tech instead? Yeah, not sure what to write here. You know what they say: either you’re literate or post angry videos on YouTube.
Claim: IT’S NOT LIKE PEOPLE AT GEORGIA TECH ARE CURING CANCER OR INVENTING THE WHEEL!
Truth: Let’s start with the fact that the wheel has already been invented and continue with the fact that people at Georgia Tech are quite literally curing cancer.
Claim: Congratulations, you graduated from Georgia Tech! Now you’re the smartest mechanic at Pep Boys! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Truth: Pep Boys mechanic =/= mechanical engineer, but I’d still like to see this guy try to fix his own car with those glasses on.
Claim: It’s not like you’re recruiting Einsteins at Georgia Tech!
Truth: We call them Bedfords down here.
Claim: Your graduation rates are lower than UGA’s!
Truth: Georgia Tech’s Graduation Success Rate is 87%. Georgia’s is 82%, and their football rate is among the worst in the SEC.
Claim: [Paul Johnson’s offense] doesn’t work!
Truth: It averages 388 yards per game despite having played some of the nation’s top defenses. That’s more than UGA’s.
That’s just an exhausting video. The cringe for today comes in the form of one sad UGA fan making the toughest call of his life.
Poor Tyler. He’s one with the dawgs.