Illuminati Bowl Picks Results: Welcome to a Brave New World

GREETINGS, CITIZENS OF NEW EARTH. IT IS THE DAWN OF A NEW ERA. ALL HAS COME TO PASS AS WE HAD INSTRUCTED. PRAETOR SABAN HAS RECLAIMED HIS THRONE AS EMPEROR OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL AND THE ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE ONCE AGAIN RULE THE COLLEGE FOOTBALL UNIVERSE.

TWENTY FIVE OF YOU DARED TO PREDICT OUR PLANS. OF THIS TWENTY FIVE, TWO OF YOU ROSE ABOVE ALL - EVEN OUR OWN INTERMEDIARY - TO CORRECTLY PICK 27 OF THE BOWL GAMES. HOWEVER, AS PARTICIPANT BOOBOOBOO ACCURATELY PREDICTED ALABAMA TO WIN THE TITLE AND PARTICIPANT YELLER BUG DID NOT, WE THUSLY NAME PARTICIPANT BOOBOOBOO OUR WINNER. IF YOU BELIEVE THIS TO BE UNFAIR, YOU ARE INCORRECT: WHAT IS AND IS NOT FAIR IS ENTIRELY UP TO US.

EXTRA SHAME AND PUNISHMENT IS AWARDED TO PARTICIPANT CLCLAX, WHO NOT ONLY FINISHED LAST BUT SUBMITTED HIS PICKS A DAY LATE, THUS NULLIFYING HIS FIRST FIVE PICKS. YOUR TARDINESS HAS EARNED YOU THREE MONTHS IN THE PAIN AMPLIFIER.

BECAUSE HUMAN MEMORY IS FAR FROM INFALLIABLE, YOU MAY REVIEW YOUR PICKS HERE.

NOW IT IS TIME TO BID YOU ALL FAREWELL, NEW EARTH CITIZENS. THE ILLUMINATI COUNCIL SHALL WITHDRAW TO OUR SANCTUM TO PLOT THE FUTURE OF OUR NEW SOCIETY. BUT KNOW WE WILL ALWAYS BE HERE.

WATCHING.

FOREVER.