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We have some suggestions for boosting attendance at Georgia Tech's spring game

The Duff'd It! Illuminati are here to solve Tech's attendance woes.

Real gameday crowd for a spring game? Just make a few small tweaks.....
Real gameday crowd for a spring game? Just make a few small tweaks.....
Kevin C. Cox

If you, like me, attended Georgia Tech's spring football game in person on Friday, you have my admiration. On an unseasonably cold Friday evening with driving rain, we proud 117 gathered for the most storied of Georgia Tech traditions: the annual White-Gold T-Day game, watching the White team grind out a close, 20-12 victory over the Gold team.

"Wait a second," you're saying. "Where did that 117 figure come from?" Good question! I haven't seen an official count from Georgia Tech. As far as I can tell that number came from somewhere in the UGA regions on Twitter, but I've no reason to doubt its accuracy, as UGA has a highly rated journalism program in the Grady College and we all know its graduates are above ignoring context and making up statistics to write clickbait articles around a preconceived narrative on an ostensibly credible website.

(EDIT FROM THE WRITER: I took exception to the above article in particular, but I would like to state for the record that I do consider Crystal Ball Run to be a credible website. They're good people; check 'em out.)

And, of course, since we all know that attendance at a glorified scrimmage in awful weather when it was available to watch online for free is a fair and accurate barometer of fan support for a program, I've come up with a few suggestions to help boost attendance for next year's game.

Appeal to the weather gods

Quetzalcoatl is one of many trickster gods in the Mesoamerican pantheon, and clearly he's pissed because we haven't been showing him enough reverence the past couple of years. So next year let's hold a human sacrifice in his name on the eve of the spring game and we should be set. A virgin sacrifice, if necessary, shouldn't be that hard to procure.

Play a game against a real opponent instead of playing an intrasquad scrimmage

Granted, there's some leeway here on what constitutes a "real" opponent. The Falcons will be busy vacationing and the Arena Football League may have regulations preventing their teams from playing a collegiate team during the regular season. If all else fails, we can select one student to scrounge up a full team from the rest of the student body, Cumberland-style. Who wouldn't want to watch a modern reenactment of 222-0?

Play the spring game in the Georgia Dome

Falcons fans will fill the Dome for two meaningless preseason games every year - and they'll even pay for the privilege to do so! So dress the team out in Falcons uniforms for the spring game and no one will even be able to tell the difference. Sure, the Dome would likely charge Tech to use the facility for the day, but combine the previous idea with this one and charge ten bucks for attendance and it'll come out in the black, easy.

Have SweetWater sponsor the game

Student attendance at the last couple of spring games has been less than stellar. College students like beer, and Atlanta happens to be home to one of the best craft breweries in the country in SweetWater. I'm no marketing major, but combining these two things with a football game sounds like a slam dunk to me. Set up games of beer pong on the sidelines. Have a campus-wide competition like during Homecoming week, but replace it with a beerlympics. I'm just spitballing here.

Move the game back to Saturday

actually this is a really good idea if anyone at Tech is reading this you should strongly consider doing this

So there you have it. All Georgia Tech needs to do is make some (or all!) of these easy changes and next year's game will be standing room only. Guaranteed* or your money back.

*Absolutely not guaranteed.

Have any more suggestions for improving spring game attendance? Leave them in the comments below. 55,000 for a scrimmage shouldn't be the goal - it should be the starting point!