Clemson Sing-A-Long!

by Winfield Featherston on Oct 16, 2008 11:19 AM EDT Comment 0 comments

Scene: A quiet setting just outside of Clemson, South Carolina. Children have gathered and are excited for the arrival of their favorite mascot Buzz to sing a long a play games. Unfortunately there was a mix-up and Ghetto Buzz has shown up instead iwith his loyal followers, the Goldfellas. The paint on his face is wearing away and his sunglasses are cracked. His wings are wilted and molting. On the outside he is an ugly creature who is greatly unappreciated. But on the inside, he has a passionate hatred for the enemies of the Flats but has difficulty showing these feelings and it drives him to drink. the result makes him a crusty and cranky old man who turns people away. What will entail?

GhettoBuzz: Alright you little brats, you pulled me away from my grand day of drinking and such so this concert had bettern be good! Vodka is calling my name and I don't like to be late when my lady beckons.

Children: Buzz! Where is Buzz!? We want to sing magestically with Buzz!

(Ghetto Buzz takes a long sip of his drink, ever so calm but one can see that he is getting annoyed because he hates Clemson, especially drunk and he also knows that he is not as loved as much as the authentic jolly Yellow Jacket.)

Ghetto Buzz: You can't have Buzz! I am the one who showed up! So we sing or we dance, or yougo home! (More and more hair and feathers fall off Ghetto as he quickly becomes less caring for the children) We will sing and we will sing loud and proud for we are YELLOW JACKETS!

Goldfellas join Ghetto Buzz and in unison the group begins:

"Clemson is a REDNECK SCHOOL!"

Children: Doo Dah! Doo Dah!

Goldfellas and Ghetto Buzz: Clemson is a REDNECK SCHOOL!!!

Children: OH DAH DOO DAH DAY!

Ghetto Buzz: EVERYBODY SINGS....hmmm vodka! (wanders off to go find more vodka)

Everybody: Gonna Moo all Niiigh! Gonna Moo all Daaay! Clemson is a REDNECK SCHOOL! Oh Dah Doo Dah Day!